Tokyo Dad

One Small Step for Baby...

I know I've said this before, but it's amazing watching a baby learn to walk. They start off like little drunk monkeys, with their arms in the air and their legs seeming to operate by their own free will; shooting out, whizzing off to the side or jerking slowly forward.

Give them a few more attempts, though, and the coordination comes. My son is not about to attract the attention of the Bolshoi Ballet just yet, but his walking is coming along very nicely and he loves doing it. He walks between my wife and I across the living room floor, sometimes with a look of grim determination on his face, but mostly with a massive grin - nearly as big as ours.

Which brings me on to shoes. We've been given a couple of pairs of shoes for him, but he seems to prefer being barefoot, which I think could be for the best to strengthen his feet and legs. Obviously this might not be such a good idea outside, where there's more chance of him hurting himself or stepping on (or in) something not very nice. We went to a big baby shop recently where they had a massive selection of shoes on offer, including a series of shoes which are apparently designed to 'introduce the baby to walking in stages.' There are, they say, five stages, which I am sure is in no way a money-making scheme. Of course not.

Well, of course it is a money-making scheme. Nobody wears shoes in the house in Japan, but the first shoes should only be worn in the house. And the flimsy uppers wear out in about ten minutes. The next stage didn't seem much better. Luckily, we've been given a pair of Nike Sensory Motion shoes which have thin rubber soles designed to help the foot move as nature intended it to. Hopefully they'll be better.

Did I mention that this is all amazing to watch?

Up and Running (Well, walking actually)

Our son has taken his first proper steps! Sadly, I was at work when it happened, but my wife told me he took five steps towards her and then grabbed onto her legs.

As always, watching these things happen is truly amazing.

Mama Chari (ママチャリ)

We've been looking to buy a bike to carry our son around for a while, but the law changed recently regarding these kind of bikes, so we waited (I don't know the details of the changes). They are affectionately known as 'mama chari's' (mum's bike) here in Japan, although the 'official' name is 子供のせ自転車 (bike for carrying children).

So we finally bought one - a nifty looking Dellica Duo, which set us back ¥40,000. It's not exactly the bike I wanted, but it's great fun to go riding together as a family. Although our son spends half the time trying to take his helmet off, he does seem to enjoy riding. I heartily recommend getting one if you've got kids as you can get fit, save money (on petrol/train fares), help the environment and have fun at the same time!

Cleaning Baby Teeth

Now that our son has begun eating a lot more food, especially a lot more fruit, it's even more important to keep his teeth clean. Even though his milk teeth will fall out eventually, it's no excuse to be lax with his dental care. We've been wiping his gums with either a gauze or a soft wet washcloth ever since he was born, but now that he's getting his gnashers, we've moved on to baby toothbrushes.

But the transition is not that easy. He doesn't seem to mind the cloths, in fact he even seems to like them, but he isn't a big fan of the toothbrush. He does, however, seem to enjoy watching me brush my teeth, so last night I sat in front of him brushing my teeth while my wife tried to brush his. For his bottom teeth, this worked like a charm, but he didn't fancy it on his top teeth. Eventually he allowed us to brush them a bit, and also didn't put up too much of a fight this morning, so hopefully he'll get more and more used to it.

We haven't used toothpaste yet, but we might start soon as we don't want either the sugar from fruit or anything else damaging his teeth. Luckily, he likes drinking water or tea, which also helps to keep his mouth clean.

Fruity about Grapes

Our son has gone from eating virtually nothing to building up quite an appetite for a variety of foods, his current favourite being grapes. He sits back and relaxes while either me or my wife feed him from the bunch, Roman Emperor-style.

He also seems to like other fruits, such as bananas, pears and apples, which is good as all of them are good for him. The other things that he has taken a shine to include udon (Japanese noodles) and some kinds of fish, which he also eats with rice.

All of this, naturally, depends on his mood - sometimes he'll pester us for more to eat, whereas other times his jaws remained tightly closed. Still, that's what makes kids so interesting and fun, isn't it?

Surfing in Chiba

I was lucky enough to spend the weekend with my family on the Boso Peninsula in Chiba this weekend, which gave me a chance to go surfing for the first time in over a year!

We also took our son into the sea, although the movement and noise was a little bit scary for him, so we took him back to the swimming pool outside the hotel where he was a lot happier. Hopefully the saltwater (it was also a saltwater swimming pool) will do his skin some good, as it always seems to help mine.

It was great to get back in the water again, even though the waves weren't that great and, happily, I found that my new exercise regime has given me more stamina and made me more supple, whereas Muay Thai seems to have improved my balance. The net result was that I even managed to stay upright for a few seconds!

That is not me in the photograph, needless to say...

Baby Swimwear

Now that summer is here with a vengeance, we're taking our son to a local outdoor pool, so naturally he needs some cool threads to be seen in!

We were quite taken aback by how much swimwear for babies is, but nevertheless we decided on this nifty little number by Ocean Pacific which we bought at Murasaki Sports.

Not exactly cheap at over ¥3,000, but he looks so cute in it, so we're more than happy!

Happy Birthday Taiga!

My son is one today! I can't believe how fast the time has gone...

Still, it has been a wonderful year and I look forward to many more like it. We bought him a trike, so hopefully he'll have fun riding it.

Che Guevara, Life and Being a Father

I've just read Ernesto 'Che' Guevara's book, The Motorcycle Diaries, and a line from it really got me thinking: "Some give the impression they go on living only because it's a habit they cannot shake."

It got me thinking about life in general and my life in particular. As sporadically chronicled here, I am attempting to improve my health by running, cycling and, more recently, doing Muay Thai (Thai kickboxing). I have also stopped drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes, started drinking a lot more water and am trying to make general improvements to my overall diet. Next, I want to make some changes in my work situation so that I can spend more time with my family. I don't want to simply stumble through life anymore trapped in circumstances that I am not happy in (my job). To that end, I continue to study (law, linguistics and Japanese) and I am taking certain other steps to hopefully effect some substantial changes by the end of this year/the beginning of next year.

Basically, I want my family to be happy and content, and a big part of this is making myself happy and content. I'm not unhappy – far from it – my family is wonderful, I have a nice house and a reasonably well-paid job. I shouldn't complain? Possibly, but you only get one crack at this life (as far as I know) so why spend most of it in a job or circumstances that you don't like? My brother-in-law is suffering from depression brought on by overwork and my father-in-law is recovering from cancer, a strong contributing factor being the stress of his job (I should, however, point out that my father-in-law loves his job).

How many of us go about our daily routine without really thinking about it? Are we living out of habit? Have we become more domesticated than the animals we keep as pets? There is much more to life than getting up, going to work, going home and going to bed. I have always thought so, but I have found myself falling into this 'safe' little routine. One of the many, many wonderful things that I have learnt since becoming a father is that there is wonder in everything and that one should never just blindly accept things. Another major thing I have learnt is that things change quickly. The trick is being able to change with them.

Nearly a Year Already

How time flies… My son will be one year old next week, which is a big thing for both me and my wife and him. Watching him grow and develop is not only incredibly interesting and educational, it's also staggeringly pleasurable and emotional. Part of me looks forward to seeing him learning to walk properly, learning to ride a bike, etc. while another part of me wants to preserve those gummy smiles and his cute, chubby little body. So, what do you get a one-year-old for his first birthday?

Early Morning Walks in the Park

I've been getting up earlier recently, which not only means that I can enjoy a leisurely breakfast and not have to rush to get ready for work, it also means that I've got chance to go for a walk in the park. Luckily there is a nice, spacious park near to my house with nice little trails, loads of trees and some exercise equipment (which I am yet to use).

Accompanying me on these early-morning strolls is my cute little boy, who really seems to enjoy it. Whether I take him in his pushchair or his carrier, he seems to love it and so do I. It's really nice to be out and getting some fresh air early in the morning - there isn't much about in Tokyo during the day - but mainly it's nice to be able to spend a little bit more time with my son in the morning. It certainly sends me off to work with a smile on my face!

Competitive Parents

"How old is your baby now? Six months, ten months, eighteen months? Blimey, by that age my baby had mastered the trombone, was performing perfect backflips on the trampoline, reading Shakespeare and debating theology."

Well, my baby makes noises, slobbers, has trouble keeping his balance, giggles for no reason and doesn't like solid food. For some parents, this is enough to have them rushing off to a child psychologist to see if they are 'developing' properly. For me, it's called being normal.

Why do parents feel the need to be competitive about their children? I'm sure we can all remember saying crap like 'my dad does karate' at school, but we had an excuse then because we were kids. Now it's more common for me to hear the opposite; how athletic/smart/artistic/gifted/terribly attractive their progeny is. And it's weird! Even better is when you hear people who haven't got kids giving you advice. 'Ooh, no breast milk after one year old, no, no, no.' 'Not crawling yet?! Get down on all fours and show him how it's done.'

All babies – and the big, stupid people they turn into – are different. Here's what I think: my baby is wonderful and the most precious thing in my life. He'll start walking, talking and eating food in his own time. What's the rush? I love him and will not compare him to any other babies. Because I know that he's number one.

Crawling Babies, Scattered Goods and General Mayhem

Things change so quickly with babies – they are a wonder to behold. A month ago, our son was showing signs of interest in crawling, but seemed to consider it too much like hard work when he could be sitting, or lying, down instead. He has been standing for around two months and seems to love bouncing up and down while he holds onto something, and both my wife and I thought that he may bypass crawling and go straight for charging around on two feet.

That all changed last week. From the first few tentative gropes on all fours, he's now rocketing across the floor, generally leaving a trail of destruction in his wake. So far we have relocated a few dangerous items to keep them out of his reach and we are now learning the benefits of an obsessive neat-freak's style of living. He goes whipping around until he can find something to pull himself up onto two feet with, like the sofa, the TV shelf or the table. Whatever happens to be on one of these surfaces, and within his reach, he instantly deems to be a hindrance to his exploration and therefore consigns it to the floor. Mummy and daddy follow him, picking things up and reminding him that these things are there for a reason.

Either that or we're giggling along with him and videoing his escapades.

Flying With a Baby

I have to be honest and say that my wife and I were not exactly looking forward to a long-haul flight with our son. He doesn't like enclosed spaces much and doesn't particularly like staying still for long periods of time - both of which he would be required to do for over 11 hours. But, to our utter delight, all flights went like a dream!

A couple of tips I would give if you are taking a baby on a long-haul flight would be:

- If the baby is breastfeeding, try to feed him or her during take-off and landing as this will help with their ears popping due to the change in pressure and hopefully lull them off to sleep.

- Walk around with them when possible.

- Give them plenty of fluids - the air is very dry on planes. This is especially important if your baby suffers from any skin problems, as our son does.

- Take their favourite toys (unless of course their favourite toys are a bicycle, a drum kit and a rocking horse...)

Back in the UK

It' been nearly five years since I last went back home, so it was great to spend a couple of weeks there recently. It was wonderful to see my son taking to everybody so well. We were a little worried that he wouldn't go to my family so well as it was the first time for him to see them, but our worries were misplaced - he smiled, laughed and was great with everybody!

As always, these trips are too short, but it was still very nice to be back. My parents love books as much as me, so we came back with some books for our son and a great book for me: How to Survive Anything, Anywhere. I love these kind of books!

How to Survive Anything, Anywhere: A Handbook of Survival Skills for Every Scenario and Environment

Baby Allergies

Our son has problems with his skin and we were concerned that he has eczema or dust/pollen allergies. After a couple of blood tests, it seems that his allergies may be food-related. As he is not eating much right now – a bit of sweet potato and/or corn – he is demonstrating allergic reactions to the food my wife is eating, therefore she is the one who has to make dietary changes: eggs and other dairy products are the first to go.

Hopefully we'll see some improvement in him soon.I am also considering adding salt to the baths he takes as I have noticed that my skin is better every time I go surfing. Some people swear by saltwater baths, although I'm not sure they're suitable for babies.

Another thing that might help him is the air becoming more humid here – winter tends to be very dry – so hopefully the extra moisture will help.

My Son and Sakura

The sakura (cherry blossom) is almost in full bloom and my son seems to love it! He was bouncing up and down, smiling and laughing when he saw the trees and got angry when we moved away. Do we have ourselves a little samurai? That being said, he got tired after a while and was more interested in trying to take my glasses off - a seemingly endless source of amusement for him!

We will be heading out to West Tokyo today to meet some old friends, so he'll have even more chance to see the flowers.

Water Baby

My wife recently took our son to a free trial at a local swimming school, although I was unable to go due to work. Apparently, babies can start going to such pools from around four months old, although we thought that was a bit young. Originally, we were going to wait until he could walk, but a local pool was running a special offer, so we thought we'd take him along.

The good news is that, despite a shaky start, he seemed to enjoy it. All of the other children there were around two years old and rather noisy, so he was a bit intimidated at first but settled in later on. He was eventually kicking his legs and laughing, which makes me wish I could have been there. Still, if he does start going, I will be able to take him there on Saturday mornings, which will be great. Our one concern is that he seems to suffer a little bit with itchy skin, so we will have to be careful in case the chemicals in the water cause an adverse reaction.

Hopefully in a few years he will be able to go surfing with me!

Start the Day with a Smile

As per most days, this morning I travelled on three crowded trains to complete my one hour twenty minute commute to work in central Tokyo . I stood next to men on consecutive trains who glared at people who brushed up against them, complained when people bumped into them and looked generally miserable. The trains are very crowded, so getting bumped into is pretty much a given. Sometimes it pisses you off, but what can you do? Well, you can basically do one of two things:

1)  Let it piss you off.

2)  Ignore it.

I used to let it piss me off, but what's the point? If it really becomes intolerable then the only thing left to do is get a new job which doesn't require commuting by train. Today I just took it in my stride, tried to keep smiling and enjoyed reading about England beating France in the Six Nations.

Smiling definitely makes you feel better. I woke up this morning with my nose bunged up because of hay fever and feeling drowsy because I hadn't slept very well (again due to hay fever). As I opened my eyes, however, I was greeted by the smiling face of my eight-month-old son, who then reached over and touched my face. Naturally, this made me smile and made me feel instantly better. I decided right then to maintain that smile throughout the day.

And so it was that one hour later I was on a train standing next to a scowling man who tutted every time anybody did anything that he found remotely annoying: accidentally brush his arm when putting a bag on the luggage rack – glare; check your mobile phone – tut and glare; stand anywhere near him – glare. It seemed that he was actively seeking things to complain about and going out of his way to start an argument. When we changed trains, he barged his way past people, glaring as he went. On the next train, another man was doing similar things and muttering under his breath about how 'rude' people are. The fact that he was taking up loads of space with his newspaper opened out didn't seem to register…

Both of these people will probably be irritated all day – they perhaps are every day.

Today I ignored the little petty annoyances and smiled. I have a lot to smile about. I've got a wonderful family, a nice house, a new car and my health. I may not love my job, but at least I've got one. The train didn't crash. It didn't blow up. There wasn't an earthquake. Or a flood.

I've decided that every day should start with a smile and that one should smile throughout the day. Try it – you'll feel better.

And when I get in bed tonight, I hope to fall asleep with a smile on my face (and not just because tomorrow is a holiday).

Registering a Birth in Japan

It took a while to get around to it, but I have finally registered the birth of our son with the British Embassy here in Tokyo. He now has both Japanese and British birth certificates and, therefore, both Japanese and British nationality. Unfortunately, before he turns twenty-two, he will have to choose whether he wants to take Japanese or British nationality. I think that's a bit crappy.

Anyway, here is what you need to do if you want to register the birth of your lovely child in Japan (I don't know if it is the same in other countries, but I can't imagine it being that much different):

1.Child's hospital birth certificate

2. Child's Ward Office birth certificate. In Japanese, this is "shussei todoke juri shomeisho";

3. Parents' marriage certificate and, if appropriate, evidence of the termination of any previous marriage of either parent;

4. Long-form UK birth certificate(s) showing parents' details or British Adoption Certificate(s) for the British parent(s) or, if born outside theUK, documentary evidence of claim to British nationality, e.g. naturalisation or registration certificate;

5. If one parent is Japanese, a photocopy of the family register ("koseki tohon"). [If the child's birth is already shown on the family register, you do not need to provide the ward office birth certificate under item 2 as well. However, in this case you must send us an original certified copy of the family register bearing the ward office's stamp - a photocopy is not acceptable];

6. Both parents' passports (except for Japanese nationals).  

It took me a while as I was waiting to get hold of the 'long' form of my birth certificate (easily obtainable in the UK). Once I had that, the process was very straightforward and only took about twenty minutes from start to finish at the embassy.

More details can be found at the British Embassy website:

http://ukinjapan.fco.gov.uk/en/help-for-british-nationals/living-in-japan/marriage-birth-death/how-register-birth