"How old is your baby now? Six months, ten months, eighteen months? Blimey, by that age my baby had mastered the trombone, was performing perfect backflips on the trampoline, reading Shakespeare and debating theology."
Well, my baby makes noises, slobbers, has trouble keeping his balance, giggles for no reason and doesn't like solid food. For some parents, this is enough to have them rushing off to a child psychologist to see if they are 'developing' properly. For me, it's called being normal.
Why do parents feel the need to be competitive about their children? I'm sure we can all remember saying crap like 'my dad does karate' at school, but we had an excuse then because we were kids. Now it's more common for me to hear the opposite; how athletic/smart/artistic/gifted/terribly attractive their progeny is. And it's weird! Even better is when you hear people who haven't got kids giving you advice. 'Ooh, no breast milk after one year old, no, no, no.' 'Not crawling yet?! Get down on all fours and show him how it's done.'
All babies – and the big, stupid people they turn into – are different. Here's what I think: my baby is wonderful and the most precious thing in my life. He'll start walking, talking and eating food in his own time. What's the rush? I love him and will not compare him to any other babies. Because I know that he's number one.
